So, I read this morning about the break-up of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez…and his comments which basically said that he had no idea what was going on in his life. Now, I generally find much better things to do with my time than to follow the ins and outs of celebrity relationships (which, quite frankly, I think should be minimized in the media if publicized at all), but I am often puzzled by what makes relationships work and not; I am also fascinated at how a relationship between two people can have such far-reaching effects–even through generations–and how the day-to-day choices that pull a couple together or pull them farther apart are really just that, choices.
I know within my own marriage relationship, I make a choice each day whether I’m in it with all my heart. Some days, when I do put all my heart into loving and helping my husband and our children, I feel like the pay-off of growth and happiness and joy within our home is so worth the work, effort, and sacrifice. Other days–those self-absorbed, me-minded days–you know the ones I’m talking about–I find the discord in our home to be a broad sea that I’m floating in, having left my oar ashore. I know I need to do something to get back to that sea of tranquility that brings me those peaceful, happy moments–but what?!?!?!?!
Actually, many answers occur to me–forgiveness (being at the forefront), trying to find something my husband did for which I am grateful, or remembering why I fell in love with him (or why I married him, etc.) helps. I have also found that when I put his needs above my own, and when he does the same for me, that we are able to connect in ways that we don’t otherwise. He helps me; I help him. Sounds simple enough, right? But in the quest for “finding ourselves,” sometimes we lose this ever-important piece of our life’s puzzle.
So, not just in marriage or motherhood or fatherhood or dating–but in all relationships, if we as individuals would work to put a little more love in our hearts and worry more about others than we worry about ourselves, the world could be a much better place.