Monday Music

Just trying to catch up on a few items (I’ve even been doing my dishes…), and the blog is one space I have been neglecting.

After some challenging weeks, and weeks, and more weeks, I am feeling the generous peace that I crave and enjoying some (much needed) sleep and a few quiet hours. (Bouncing back and forth between the demands of playing extrovert while craving the life of an introvert has been challenging.) Today I want to share a few songs that make me smile or strengthen me on those hard days (and since today is Monday…well, let’s get to the music).

This first song has been a long-time favorite. Since I was a child, my musically gifted mother exposed me to melodies more diverse than I could list on several blog posts. One of the constants during those years was the three-octave range of Barbara Streisand. This song is one of my favorites from her film Yentl, a story about a woman so devoted to learning that she is willing to sacrifice her womanhood to continue her quest for knowledge after her father’s death.

The next song has been my companion in seeking positivity during these last several weeks. I’ve been trying to count blessings instead of sheep (though this piece is Bernstein instead of Berlin).

This last song is just for fun–a love song that has become a tether to my amazing husband (who, often–almost always–has held me through my crazy-busy moments). I can’t say what I feel better than a couple of cute one-liners by Ed Sheeran in this song.

So, there you have some fun music for this glorious Monday. As always, sending love and light your way. ❤

What’ll I Do?

I stare at my phone again, pressing into the home button with my finger for at least the eighty-seventh time today. I don’t know what I’m hoping to see…some magic message app, like one of those black and white eight-ball fortune tellers we used to ask questions of when we were teenagers, trusting that the answer was the gospel truth.

Yes, I think that’s what I’m wanting tonight.

But my apps all look the same.

Earlier today, the clip-clop of my clogs against the pavement and the dripping sound off the roof reminded me in a fierce way that I had several cups of water earlier that needed to leave my body. I wanted relief.

That relief was only temporary.

The ache I feel is still here.

I’m sure it will eventually fade, or I will just become used to it…my new normal. But I fear that, at some point, my capacity for accepting another new normal will deteriorate so much that I can no longer find it.

I’m hoping the tears will come soon.

“Water cleanses you know, washes away dirt, makes new.” –STP

My mother used to sing this song by Irving Berlin:

“What’ll I do when you are far away
And I am blue, what’ll I do?”

I’m feeling this way now, like a piece of me is far away, out of touch, out of reach…and I have a million or more things on my “to-do list.”

But I just want to sit here and swipe my phone…waiting for some message or answer about what I’m to do.

Tonight I will go to bed and wake again tomorrow and move on…and thankfully the tears have started to fall. Yes, maybe I’ll be new tomorrow.

But tonight, I will just sit here and wait. Wait for the void to fill somehow. And wait for the memories to spread into my heart, to fill the empty place.

And someday I know I will feel whole again.