Though you may not agree with my religion or with faith in general, the following is a post regarding an experience I have been having through scripture reading. I invite you to read on if you are feeling open or respectful; likewise, I invite you to close this blog window if you are feeling the least bit contentious. The topic is one of a very serious and personal nature for me, (and I hesitate to share it for those reasons) while at the same time I feel that I need to open my heart to my dearest blog readers. You guys and gals and your support mean so much to me in this little global community we call the Internet. 🙂
Last May, I began reading the Four Gospels in the New Testament of the Bible, namely Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I have finished Mark, am half-way through Luke (I read that at night with my little ones) and am concluding Matthew in my personal study.
And I hurt.
You see, as I finished Mark–by far the shortest of the four books–I mourned at the suffering and death of Christ.
Yes, of course, I relished in His resurrection and triumph over sin and death…but I hurt for Him.
Recently, when I read Matthew’s recounting of the plea from the Master to His disciples to “watch with him” through His sufferings and atonement for all people on earth, I could barely hold back tears. I found myself hesitating to finish, not wanting to hurt with Him and for Him, and because my own weaknesses and issues caused Him pain that He willingly took on so that I could feel the power of redemption.
But when Matthew is finished, I will begin again with John….
“In the beginning was the word.”
And I will read of his words to Nicodemus regarding baptism; I will sit by the well along with the Woman of Samaria and feel the power of His word.
And I will walk again along the Sea of Galilee as He calls, “Come, follow me.”
And I will hear Him call to me…and the pain, bringing about a change in my own heart which draws me closer to Him will be fruitful.
So, I will continue reading.