I Thought I Was Different

I recall bygone days filled with moments of his pleading for me to come eat lunch with him. I remember tying his little shoes in double knots because he didn’t know how to tie them if they came untied at school. I can still see him standing on a chair by the counter as we creamed butter, measured and poured in brown and white sugars, counted the eggs, and mixed in flour, baking soda, and salt. He always wanted to pour in the vanilla. I always placed a few extra chocolate chips on to the counter, just for him.

Now he can make cookies by himself…and tie his shoes that aren’t so little anymore.

He doesn’t ask me to meet him for lunch at school.

I thought I was different.

I knew other mothers around me who often shared this tell-tale caution openly: “They grow up too fast. Treasure every moment. Some day he won’t want you around as much.”

As he prepared last weekend to attend a dance with friends, I wanted to go so badly. I wanted to watch him experience the thrill of the dance floor, the upbeat music, the connection with friends. I wanted nothing more than for him to create amazing memories that would carry him through his youth and into adulthood.

He picked out his clothing and worked on styling his hair. When his ride arrived, I knew that moment so many mothers had cautioned me about was really here.

And, I wasn’t different after all.

But I have worked for over a decade to prepare him for these moments, and knowing he is learning each day to become a man helps to ease the separation.

I do hope that someday, maybe ten years from now, he will invite me to lunch again. I will sit across the table from him, and he will be grown and living on his own. I will tell him I am proud of the decisions he has made. But I will still hear echoes of that little kindergartener, so many years ago. I may shed a tear or two, as I am now.

But I will also smile in the happiness that we are not so different after all.


photo credit

Hit the Pavement!

So…last week I took a break from the wide world of exercise.  Prior to that week, I was getting in about 3 workouts/week (to help maintain muscle tone, lower stress levels, and keep up with the massive amounts of carbs I’ve been eating…and to claim all the happy heart benefits of exercising….).  Anyway, by Saturday, my stress level was…shall we say HIGH…and I was missing the fresh air and pavement under my feet.  So, I decided that I was–come what may–going to run.

I found my workout gear, running jacket, iPod headphones, and shoes.  I laced up both shoes, then sat for a moment to add some recently acquired music to my “a good run” playlist.  As I did, I felt something poking the inside of my right ankle.  I unlaced my shoes (have I mentioned that I abhor tying shoes and avoid this action whenever possible?) to investigate.  I pushed around my sock and flicked at the spot in my shoe until I was satisfied that the sharp object digging into my skin had exited.

I started a load of (long overdue) laundry.

I stretched.

I added a few more songs.

I took a sip of water.

Then, I popped the ear buds into my ears and searched for a song that would pump up my energy level and inspire me to keep moving muscles in a way I hadn’t done for…well, let’s just say it’s been awhile…. 🙂

Rob Bass started chanting in my ear (thank heavens my dear friend edited the song for me so I could listen to it in peace), and my feet were keeping up with the rhythm, pounding with the force of weekly frustrations and newfound strength.  I didn’t even care about keeping pace or running far; I just needed the boost of pavement beneath my feet and the spirit of the earth flowing around me.  I felt renewed, refreshed, and amazing.  The wind hit my face like a wall, but I kept moving.  A few more songs, and I was back home to lift, do push ups and abs.

The next morning, I got out of bed with shin splints.  Oops!  I guess I forgot to stretch those muscles!  Still, with every step I took, I was reminded of the rush of energy of my run and of the work I am doing to live healthy and to be strong.  The shin splints were practically a gift…and I was grateful for them.  🙂

What do you do to combat stress and to increase your personal health and strength?

P.S.  Did you know that Brooks (awesome running shoes) has a Wear Tester Program for their products?  You can fill out a profile, and you become eligible to try out their new gear for FREE…pretty sweet, eh?  🙂

Adrenaline GTS 13